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UPDATE BY MINI ME

Dear Boxer Hashers!

Last months road (rail) trip to the grasslands of Inner Mongolia with our retarded cousins, the BJH3 and the FMH3 turned out to be a scorcher in more ways than one. I think everyone got the back of their legs burned, especially Boxer Hare 'Fucking Matt Damon' as he got the worst of it with his borderline blisters! New rule for Summer hashes - Bring lots of sun cream, not only to use it as an excuse to rub other hashers but to be rubbed on yourself!

I remember DnC, Spiking Viking, MH and the soon to be named, 'Fuckus' (we know who you are!) drinking the whole train dry after a bottle of vodka was demolished in 5 minutes. But thats about it...Sunshine, Drinking, World Cup, Drinking, Dodgy Club, Drinking, Sunshine, Ultimate frisbee, Drinking, Train, Drinking....I think I saw lucky boy at one point…and I'm certain we left Indiana Jones behind.

It was Snot's Birthday as well as Slackbladder's swan song as Boxer RA to which we had him doused in the nectar of the Gods!

We also made RSB drink so much that he passed out in the hotel and missed all the nights revelry watching world cup and eating entire lambs before drinking ourselves into a heat stricken slumber.

Fare-D-well, Slackbladder, you will be missed but the word/joke association games shall always continue in your honour!

Dry Hole kept up his legendary status as he was the only one who took the initiative and thought of the beer over everything else and found a cold place to store it in the middle of the grasslands enabling us to intoxicate ourselves and keep cool at the same time! Shame on you, hares!

Thanks to all for what should really become an annual thing!

MINIME

Special thanks go to Burning Bush, who even though she got lost on one of the flattest Boxer trails we've ever seen, provided lots of cakes and apple pies for Limp Tart to stick his fingers into at every available moment...

DAY 1

Who likes sunshine, who likes sunshine (or Spanking Nuns as Limp Tart prefers to teach underage locals)? We all could use some and no place is better than the grasslands of Inner Mongolia!!

We had organized the trip with great efforts from Burning Bush and I’m Fucking Matt Damon including numerous baked goods from the chef herself!  As a small group gathered at Tim’s to car pool to the train station, several of us made last minute purchases to feed the masses.  The plan was to meet outside the train station entrance as we were instructed “they will not let you into the station without a ticket.  Well XXX and I walked right in and found everyone except BB and MiniMe waiting at Hall 4 many of us without tickets (so much for security).

We quickly called BB and MM to join us and pass out the remaining tickets so we could board the train in the next 5 minutes or miss it.  XXX thought wow this is just enough time to go order food from Yoshinoya…pushing the edge but eventually made the train.  We had tops and middles spread over two cars and quickly began drinking and eating.

Read more: Hash Trash Run #1442: Inner Mongolia Hohhot Grasslands Run

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Through the hinterlands somewhere southeast of Beijing we jogged and walked around the coverts, flood control ditches, field, hutongs, industrial parks and new byways near the Der Backer’s new facility. The run had enough open checks and 2 or 3 ways to make even the boldest hasher go a little crazy. Happily MB was guilty of biking and coaching the runners all at the time. This is a baker’s idea of multi-tasking on the trail. Fortunately, he did patiently lead us to two very refreshing beer stops (What? a hare on a bicycle?).

The mood of the run was marked by a few common themes: sweat saved by beer, pig shit and public toilet odors that could kill most nasal passages of mere common humans —but not us— and around 25 hashers that could not resist Der Backer’s hospitality.

The voices of encouragement from the locals could be heard far away like it was in rhythm with the steps of the runners, until some of them decided to take their shirt off to beat the heat. From that moment on we could only hear crying children and howling dogs. We still don't know if it was due to Snot's hairy body or his beer belly... or both!

Returning to the circle, the old tradition of sitting naughty hashers on ice came back during this run. Although we didn’t have the traditional block of ice, the 2 massive boxes were completely filled up with pieces of ice, and that really did the job! Especially for most of the Americans and Brits who suffered for the world cup football tie of 1-1, though somehow Spiking Viking, true to his Italian roots temporarily ditched his British passport and a chance to freeze his lower cheeks. Some other enjoyed the cold touch of ice: the hares, the stand in RAs, GM and a few others. We had almost forgotten there were so many pale buttocks!

Since The Reverend couldn’t be with us in this run, the circle had to be livened by 2 RAs instead of 1: Dazed & Confused and Spiking Viking made their appearance to the delight of those present! There were plenty of calls to everyone and a bunch of nonsensical songs! Even “Crazy Bitch” was called into the circle for causing trouble instead of coming to our runs! Indiana Jones pretended to pass our way unnoticed but her efforts were in vane because she ended up in the center of the circle, too. We were happy to see Cock Lobster back, although we don’t want to see him half naked sitting on ice again. Not to mention Limp Tart who forced us to wash our eyes after his multiple encounters with the box of ice and his not too bashful privates.

We had quite a delegation from European countries which only added to those passing out opportunistic down downs. We got to visitors from Finland (I think they ended in the ice as well if I can recall…) and of course the Teutonic hordes, whose large group was the predominant nationality on this run!

After hours and hours of beer and songs we finally headed to the banquet prepared by the Backers: Steaks, sausages, veggie kebabs, pretzels, several great cabbage and spaghetti salads topped off with tasty little desserts, and of course, a lot of draught beer!

On On

D&C and Snot