Welcome to the Beijing Hash House Harriers Portal – your one-stop-site for all things drinking, running, laughing, and navigating the maze of Beijing Kennels’ upcoming shenanigans!
Lace up those running shoes, check out our hash schedule, and don’t miss the chance to hit the trails with a side of laughter.
Psst… our song section might just be the secret ingredient to make your runs a musical adventure! 🎶 #OnOnBeijingH3
Our next run is…
Beijing Full Moon H3 #202 Vampires. And Glitter.
What is known to sparkle in the sunlight? Vampires. And glitter.
What is impossible to escape? Vampires. And glitter.
Spreads at the spread of light? Vampires, of course. And glitter.
The definition of unnatural beauty? Vampires. And glitter.
This month we are celebrating a connection stronger than that between a mark and it’s ’on on’. Two peas in a pod like new shoes and promptly following humiliation. Yes, a link even mightier than that between the Hash House Harriers and beer itself- vampires and glitter.
It is time to dust off the outfit we talked you into buying for last year’s ’what we do in the shadows’ vampire hash and add an extra layer of glitter as the vampires are not content hiding in the shadows anymore.
What else is new? After one year of careful deliberation and multiple brainstorming sessions, the full moon team has finally figured out how to use the custom vampire teeth we ordered last year so meet us for a vampire teeth fitting and a Bloody Mary before the run.
Dress code: GLITTER VAMPIRES!! Need I say more
Vampiric council:
Running hare: Losticia in Glitter & Foxfang Clitopentagram
Walking hare: Pandora Phantom Pandemonium& Jonathan Wayne’s Gay Raven
What: it’s an A-to-B hash, and is not dog-friendly as well as not kid-friendly
When: Friday, 25 October . Meet at 7:00 pm
Start: 7:30 pm.
Where: Chaoyang Park South Gate 朝阳公园-南大门
Hash cash: 30 RMB
Restaurant? What never eats? Vampires, of course. And glitter.
170 Gloriass #4 Ass-Pocalypse Now
The year is 2039, a viral disease has once again spread across the planet infecting the world’s population. The virus at first seems benign but slowly people start to realize the horrifying consequences of the infections. The virus targets the Gluteus Maximus and dissolves muscle and fat at a rapid pace once it becomes established within the tissues. Doctors and research teams try their best to develop an effective vaccine but are unable to tackle it. Hospitals are overwhelmed with patients screaming as their butts are being eaten by the virus with doctors unable to do anything except pray for them and cry.
Once luscious and plump booties are now shriveled to nothing but bone. Yoga pants and spandex start to sag and blow in the wind as the big buttocks that once filled them have all but evaporated.
The Ass-Pocalypse has arrived and all the big booties of the world have been consumed by the virus. Kardashians are now wandering the streets of Calabasas, looking for scraps of food in dumpsters. Once vibrant beaches and gyms filled with healthy juicy booty meat now lie decaying and abandoned. The falling sales of booty shorts have crashed the global economy and riots, looting, and armed militias have taken over and collapsed the governments of most nations.
The stars and heavens that once revolved around the big bodacious butts have lost their glimmer and now wonder aimlessly throughout the universe searching for a new purpose.
Pictured: The Sad state of Booties during the Ass-Pocalypse
The empty bootyless void of space is a dark and unwelcoming place. What purpose is there to rebuild humanity and a society without booty? What reason is there to continue on with live with everything in ashes and no bouncy butts to shake in the moonlight?
There is nothing left and only big booty Instagram pics of the past to remind us what life used to be like.
…..but there remains some hope.
For some hares from the future have arrived and will now time travel back to the year 2024 to stop this dark and chaotic timeline from unfolding.
At Gloriass #4 the hares will unleash the power of the booty to make hashers butts and booties so firm that the virus will stand no chance against it. We will shake, wiggle, and jiggle spreading the magical power of the booty across the entire galaxy and beyond.
DRESS CODE: TIGHT BOOTY SHORTS
Hares:
Snake Cunter, Pukelid’s Taxivomitry, Polish My Helmet
Type:
A to A, Bag Drop Available
When:
September 28th, Saturday, 2024
Time:
Meet at 2:30pm, run starts at 3pm
Hash Cash:
30 RMB for Trail (Run and Circle); 105 RMB for Trail and Dinner
Meetup: 乾元大都涮肉 烧烤(安贞店)
Qianyuan Dadu Shabu Shabu BBQ (Anzhen Branch)
Address: 安定路甲24号楼一层
Hashing in China
The hash world asked for it and we got it! Introducing the new ALL CHINA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS OFFICIAL DIRECTORY!
Formerly known as just “Hash China”, the new improved directory comes with a beautiful new design, better user interface, responsive, more content, dedicated hash news section, highlighted events in the region, easy access in the mainland and many more features! All by the hand of Dazed & Confused and RoomBoy.
Visit china.hash.cn today!
Hashing in Beijing
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Beijing! Beijing! What wonderful place to hash…
Beijing, Beijing, what a wonderful place to hash,
We have great fun dodging the shit and trash.
Our skies are never clear,
But we have cheaper beer.
We like our drinks,
Our singing stinks.
But welcome to the Beijing Hash!
MORE SHENANIGANS
Not enough awesomeness? Keep reading for hash trash, past runs, hash socials and much more…
Beijing Full Moon H3 #202 Vampires. And Glitter.
What is known to sparkle in the sunlight? Vampires. And glitter. What is impossible to escape? Vampires. And glitter. Spreads at the spread of light? Vampires, of course. And glitter. The definition of unnatural beauty? Vampires. And glitter. This month we are celebrating a connection stronger than that between a mark and it’s ’on on’. Two peas in a pod [...]
170 Gloriass #4 Ass-Pocalypse Now
The year is 2039, a viral disease has once again spread across the planet infecting the world’s population. The virus at first seems benign but slowly people start to realize the horrifying consequences of the infections. The virus targets the Gluteus Maximus and dissolves muscle and fat at a rapid pace once it becomes established within the tissues. [...]
我们又帮助了一个孩子！ We helped another kid!
Beijing HHH has connected with Heart to heart for a few years. Here`s the links: 北京Hash和心连心基金合作有几年了，以前捐款信息的链接： Update from Heart to Heart ,心连心发来的好消息 Beijing Boxer update: 今天收到的好消息 And we raise money every year on red dress run for Heart to Heart, here`s the receipt from them this year in June, 11069 from Beijing HHH, and 8931 from Beijing boxer. 我们每年会组织红裙跑，为心连心基金募集捐款。这是今年六月我们的捐款收据，其中11069来自北京hash,8931来自北京Boxer hash。 （以上图片中信息的翻译）： [...]
BJH3 #2171 24-Hour Challenge Run
With so many kennels in running all year round somehow Beijing Hashers still can’t get enough Beer and trails. But fear not because on October 5th Beijing H3 is going on perhaps its craziest adventure yet. Introducing the 24-Hour Challenge Run, for 24 hours Beijing Hashers are going to raise money for charity, running and drinking beer the whole way. [...]
BJH3#2169: Winter is Cumming: Journey to the North
Join us in the frosty north of Beijing, where we’ll venture beyond the Wall in search of the elusive golden nectar! The journey to the North begins in a boozy wilderness, where Tiantong Yuan Walkers and Beijing wildlings lurk around every corner! Warriors from House Hash will brave dark forests, shiggy trails, and icy rivers to conquer the unforgiving terrain [...]
BJH3 #2168, Mid-Autumn Festival Run
If you are one of the many that yearn for the time when you can stuff your gullet with mooncakes and hairy crab, by golly, do we have news for you. Mid-Autumn Festival is here! This is the time for you to consume copious amounts of these seasonal delicacies and enjoy the company of family and friends. Unfortunately for mooncakephiles, [...]
Beijing Full Moon H3 #201 Mad as a Ha(tt/sh)er
It’s getting curiouser and curiouser as the Beijing Full Moon Hash is hosting a wild and whimsical Alice in Wonderland-themed hash run! Follow the White Rabbit down winding trails and chase after flour marks through a mad world of nonsense and fun. Just like Alice, you are advised to take sips from curious bottles with the label “drink me” on [...]
Boxer #232 The Journey of Sun Wukong
A gaming craze has struck the world that has everyone buzzing. Black Myth: Wukong, based on the legendary Journey to the West saga was released just last month in August and has already become one of the fastest selling video games of all-time; selling 18 million copies in two weeks. With everyone else stuck on their PlayStations at home, Beijing [...]
Howling Run #7: The Hooter Hash
Start: 6:30 PM at Paddy’s， on Sep.13th，Fri. 🎳 Activities: Beer stop + Bowling + Wings 🍻 Theme: Hooters outfits! Fellow Howlers, it's time for Howling Run #7, and this time, we're bringing you a bike hash to really get those legs pumping (and the beer flowing)! Why are we trading our running shoes for bike seats this time around, you ask? Well, [...]
BJH3 2167 Attack of the Tri-hash-alops
RUN, BIKE, AND SWIM AS FAST AS YOU CAN! Once a year, a viscous and ferocious beast rears it’s ugly head to prey upon unsuspecting hashers; a beast so horrifying that only blood and bones are found wading in the waters of Liangmahe afterwards.The monster known as the Trihashlalops, whose greatest desire is to consume hashers and their beer saturated [...]
Best runs ever with the Beijing Hash! Endless singing and people happy everywhere!
What a great time you gave us & what we had. Would really like to see you again. Thanks you lot! ON ON!
I wasn’t sure what to expect of these fellas… But once everything started, it was mind blowing! Never seen a kennel so energetic and fun! Keep it ON ON fuckers!
Thanks so much for a wonderful Beijing Hash, the circle was fun and entertaining and the Beijing hashers are a happy lot, we hope to meet some in the land of Oz one day.
The Beijing Hash saved my life in a hard moment, Hashing is a happy club bringing positive energy to humanity. On On
Thanks heaps to all the gang for making our stay at Beijing a happy and memorable experience. We really did enjoy ourselves at BH3 and by the end of the evening I felt we had made lots of new friends and certainly managed to get seriously drunk!